I grew up pretty normal, but I was living a life of depression, pain and low energy. Why couldn’t I be happy? Why did I not feel exuberate about life? Why did I wake up either feeling nothing or dreading my day? Why could I not remember the a day when I was truly happy?
First it was because I listened to everyone else. I never really thought about my life. I went to school, got good grades, went to college and went and got a job. I even had a job that “fit” my requirements – pretty autonomous, good pay, good company whose values aligned with mine, nice co-workers, a decent boss. Yet, I was still unhappy. I tried to stay in the job for 5 years. I would build my wealth, build experience, foster helpful relationships. But I just couldn’t hack it.
All this time, I was looking to be happy. I thought I would be happy that I was successful – at least on the employment realm, that I was financially stable, that I was married to a man who loved me and had a daughter that was well behaved and becoming a pretty good human being. But none of that mattered.
What was blocking me? A little bit of self worth, confidence and truly believing that I could break my mold. That I could be a millionaire on my own. It’s strange, I believe in my skills and I believe in my power, my intelligence, and my beauty. But my biggest fear is being one of those people who only talks, but never does, or never produces. Another fear I have is that I will work hard and then it will all crumble.
I finally hit a wall in June 2020. It was the beginning of the height of the pandemic. My mom had just passed away, the following day I underwent a hysterectomy, then I severed the relationship with my dad. I had lost so much. I was struggling at work. I was stressed out and I had no motivation. I was just done. I knew I was not living my life to my highest potential. I was wasting away at work. Work started to go against my values. “Work harder during the pandemic.” “Let’s gain customer loyalty, while trying to nickel and dime them.” I was done. I wanted to take control of my life. So i quit/got fired from my job. I quit, because I just stopped working. I did the bare minimum for my customers but that is it.
Negatively, I lost the good relationships I had with co-workers. I lost some self esteem, feeling like could not hack it out in the world – ie. I am the loser guy who cannot hold down a job. I also had financial fear. The fear of being able to make my bills, the fear of never being financially independent, the fear of always living below my means because I don’t have a choice not to. The fear of never being able to accomplish my dreams. Of being able to do what I want. I also lost a little bit of my identity. What was I going to tell people who I was? A shopper for Shipt (while it is a good part time job) is not what I want my identify to be. I felt like I was falling further away from my financial dreams. Since I could see my bank account getting smaller and the medical bills piling up, I started getting more resentful towards my spouse. How could he have a pH.D and still make 30K a year? How come after 10 years he is still in the same place? It brought up resentment because even when I was making money, he still was not living up to my expectations of a house husband. He couldn’t feel the dog and get the child to school. He would cook, but the kitchen would be a disaster. It would infuriate me. I also hate that I am not paying down our debt as quick as possible. That I find myself relying on credit cards again. That I feel like my choices are limited. That I feel like we’ll never get to have expensive fun again. That I feel like one big financial thing will put us into ruins. I was not feeling abundant. Which is why I partially quit my job.
The epiphany for me is based on several things. And things that I gotta keep remembering and doing, because I can get dark pretty quick. One, to be happy in the moment. Finding law of attraction people like Joe Dispenza, Christie Marie Sheldon, and Abraham Hicks. How much my food and sleep affects my mood. To really start taking care of myself. To know that I am on the right track with my credit repair education. Listening to Joe Dispenza and Christie Marie Sheldon helped me realized how much I need to open up my heart to love. It sounds crazy, but it really does help. They showed me how to envision my future and prepare my body for the future instead of living in the past. Listening to Dr. Eric Berg and Dr. Mark Hyman talk about insulin resistance opened up my eyes to how my metabolism works. Going to Dr. Grace Alessi showed me how I was missing half of my gut bacteria and gave me supplements to help with my healing journey.
This has helped me to have a better outlook on life. To really feel gratitude and most of all to be in a better mood. I know that my dreams will come true and that feeling Love from Above will allow abundance and the life that I want to manifest to come to me. My future will change. I will be living my life by my design. I will be more content in my marriage. I will be able to help people do the same. I will be able to full fill my purpose in this world as a teacher and healer. I know that I am meant to heal the world by molding and fostering Eleanor to be the best person that she can be, and to help heal the walking wounded. Those who are just trudging along in life, waiting to retire. Those who are not 100% satisfied with their path and for those who need their light to shine so they can do good in the world. I am also here to educate parents on the effects of modern day parenting. How it is hurting our kids and instead build up kids so that they can also find their power and become a better force in the world. I am also here to show people how to care for themselves through food and finances. The 3 F’s that is what I am meant to do. Also to make the world beautifully aesthetic, by making beautiful people and decorating.
The first action I took to achieve this was to start my mornings off differently. I no longer wake up to scroll on twitter. I wake up to a motivational talk and I also go to bed by 11 every night. I am also only focusing and obsessing on my 3 F’s and an A (aesthetics). The next action I am taking is practicing love and gratitude every day and to truly live by these and my other values. Another big action that I took, was to start becoming more prominent online and to open up my credit repair business. My vision came together so well, that I decided to open up a financial coaching to include personal investment education and helping others reach FIRE. I was also able to help out my family and change our family’s path from middle class to wealthy!
The name of my business is Against Modern Life – helping you to bridge the gap between dreams and reality. For my financial business it is going to be called – Own your Finances – take control of your finances, take control of your life. Through these two business models. I have helped 10,000 families and people reach their financial and life goals. I have helped people navigate our modern world and set them up for success. I have helped 1000’s of family with their parent child relationships and have helped parents model positive financial and life skills for them to continue into adulthood. Through this I have made a comfortable life for myself where I am able to invest my earnings so that I can create a life of 60K per month in passive income. Eleanor is interested in what I am doing and learns how to be an entrepreneur from me. I have learned how to enjoy life, I wake up excited to start my day and I can be generous with my time, money and love.